Sick of this will-they-won’t-they bullshit. The Ross and Rachel of Irish politics need to just get it on already! You may also notice a certain disdain for how much of Irish government is conducted in a pub. Not saying a couple of sneaky pints at lunch time is the worst thing in the world, just don’t do it when you’re making decisions that directly impact upon the lives of millions.
even those from afar,
sit in the Dáil bar.
plenty of noisy,
and very little thinking.
Kenny and Martin,
sit across the room,
blushing as love starts to bloom.
Noonan grabs Enda’s knee
and grumbles “maith an fear.”
The Healy-Raes briefly stutter,
mid two hour long sermon,
on why Kerrymaid is the best butter,
“tsch! Would they ever get it over with?”
The barman sighs,
as Mick and Danny their speech reprise.
Off to the corner,
Eamonn Ryan’s brow furrows,
as he burrows,
through the jukebox’s goods,
for Back In The High Life Again by Steve Winwood,
and settles for Get Lucky,
as Catherine Martin gets plucky,
taps Stephen Donnelly’s shoulder,
slips behind and saddles at the bar,
as the fooled Donnelly begins to smolder.
The barman leaves the Healy-Raes,
gets her soda and lime,
relief on his face could be seen,
all the way from Ardamine.
Micháel and Enda,
whispering sweet nothings,
of government agenda.
Micháel sweetly whispers,
“combine property tax and water charges,”
Enda coos “and cuts to social welfare,”
a jealous Joan storms to impair,
but gets caught by an angry Mary Lou,
who drags her back with a yank of the hair.
Shane Ross steers to interfere,
resulting in the loss of his beer.
Wallace and Daly take bets,
as the ladies shout threats,
and Adams reminds everyone,
that Sinn Féin is not linked to the IRA,
or even the army cadets.
The boys giggle and flush,
Enda toys with his hair,
Micháel regrets the lack of any up there.
With a whisper and a hush
the two exit in a rush.
And that’s how governments are formed in Ireland.